[Dominick]

Subject: FW: RED SKELTON'S RECIPES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE!!











For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope youget a chuckle or two reading them once more. . .

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE

FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back..

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair..

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."..

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"..

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'..

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"..

!

[MBDiagMan]

Thanks for this. I am INDEED old enough to remember Red Skelton. Many people my age don't even know that he did quite a few GREAT movies in the forties. He was not only funny and delivered clean humor, but he was reportedly a very kind and gentle man. I expect that if he was married, he was probably one of the best husbands ever.

He was a national treasure from a time gone by.